There is a familiar feeling many parents and teachers will recognise: the day has barely begun, yet there is already so much to carry. A child needs reassurance, a lesson needs preparing, an email needs answering, a deadline is approaching, and someone else needs our attention. We move from one responsibility to the next, often putting our own needs at the very bottom of the list.

We tell ourselves we will rest later, take a breath when things quieten down, or make time for ourselves when everything else is done. But what happens when everything else is never quite done?

This year's World Mental Health Day, the theme “Lived Experiences Heard: Real Voices, Real Change” invites us to listen more carefully to the experiences of others and recognise that meaningful change begins when people are genuinely heard. While the campaign highlights the importance of involving people with lived experience of mental health conditions in decisions about their care and support, its message also offers an important reflection for our school community: we cannot build a culture of wellbeing without making space for the wellbeing of the adults within it (World Health Organization [WHO], 2026).

Behind every parent and every teacher is a person with their own experiences, pressures, worries, hopes and limits. We may be skilled at recognising when a child is struggling, yet less willing to acknowledge when we ourselves are reaching capacity. We may encourage children to talk about their feelings, take breaks, ask for help and treat themselves with kindness, while expecting ourselves to keep going regardless.

Perhaps it is time to offer ourselves the same understanding we so readily offer the children in our care.

The adult behind the role

Parenting and teaching can be deeply rewarding, but both involve considerable emotional demands. Parents may be balancing work, family responsibilities, financial pressures and concerns about their children’s futures. Teachers may be managing learning needs, behaviour, assessment, safeguarding, relationships with families and the many demands that extend beyond the classroom. Often, both roles involve caring for others while carrying personal concerns that remain unseen.

When pressure accumulates, we may find ourselves becoming less patient, more easily overwhelmed, mentally exhausted or quicker to react than we would like. We might listen while already thinking about the next task, respond sharply when we intended to be understanding, or feel guilty because we do not have the energy to give as much as we would wish.

These experiences do not automatically mean that we are failing as parents or professionals. They may be signs that we need to pause, recognise what we are carrying and consider what support would help.

The WHO (2022) emphasises that promoting mental health at work requires more than asking individuals to manage their stress. It also involves addressing workplace risks, strengthening support from managers and developing effective organisational practices. Self-care is important, but it should never become another expectation placed on people who are already overwhelmed. We need both personal strategies and environments in which it is possible to use them.

A pause is not a failure: it is an opportunity to reset

In her Rapid Resets: Leading With Stability resource, Charle Peck offers practical strategies to help educators restore stability and respond more intentionally under pressure. Her central message is that, when stress rises, our responses can become reactive and our interpretation of behaviour can narrow. Rather than immediately trying to fix a situation, we can begin by regulating our own response (Peck, n.d.).

Although the resource focuses primarily on educators and classroom situations, these strategies can also offer useful starting points for parents navigating the demands of family life.

1. Give yourself one minute.

Before responding to a difficult email, addressing challenging behaviour or continuing a demanding conversation, pause. Stop speaking or moving for a moment if it is safe to do so. Take a few comfortable, unhurried breaths, allowing the exhale to be slightly longer than the inhale if that feels comfortable. Notice your feet on the floor and bring your attention back to the present moment.

Peck suggests a one-minute reset using techniques such as 4–6 breathing, a visual anchor or gently touching each finger to the thumb in sequence. The purpose is not to eliminate every difficult feeling, but to create a little space between what we feel and how we choose to respond.

At home, this might mean pausing before reacting to a disagreement. At school, it might mean taking a breath before responding to a student's behaviour. A small pause can help us approach the next step with greater intention.

2. Notice what your body is telling you.

Stress can show up physically before we fully recognise it emotionally. We may notice tense shoulders, a tight jaw, shallow breathing, restlessness or a sense of rushing. Peck encourages educators to pay attention to posture and physical space, suggesting simple adjustments such as relaxing the shoulders, placing both feet firmly on the floor and gently lengthening the spine.

The next time you feel overwhelmed, ask yourself: What am I noticing in my body? What do I need in this moment?

Perhaps you need a drink of water, a short walk, a quieter space, a few minutes without notifications or a conversation with someone you trust. Recognising these signals is not self-indulgence; it is an opportunity to respond to your needs before pressure builds further.

3. Choose words that steady rather than escalate.

Peck also recommends using predictable, reassuring language when emotions run high. Phrases such as “Let's take a moment and work out what to do next” can help create a calmer starting point than reacting immediately.

We can apply the same principle to the way we speak to ourselves. Instead of “I should be able to cope with all of this”, try “I have a lot to manage right now. What is the next manageable step?” Instead of “I've got everything wrong”, try “That was difficult. What can I learn from it?”

This is not about excusing hurtful behaviour or avoiding responsibility. It is about recognising that we can maintain boundaries, repair mistakes and make thoughtful decisions without adding unnecessary criticism to an already difficult moment.

These brief resets are tools to practise, not quick fixes for chronic stress or substitutes for professional support. Their value lies in helping us develop more deliberate responses over time (Peck, n.d.).

Finding a safe space to be heard

The theme “Lived Experiences Heard: Real Voices, Real Change” reminds us that listening must go beyond simply hearing words. It involves taking people's experiences seriously, remaining open to perspectives different from our own and allowing what we hear to inform what happens next (WHO, 2026).

For parents and teachers, this begins with recognising that we also deserve spaces in which we can speak honestly without feeling that we must have all the answers.

A safe space does not have to be a special room or a long period of uninterrupted time. It might be a quiet walk, a conversation with a trusted friend, a supportive colleague, a reflective moment at the end of the day or time set aside to speak with a professional. What matters is having an opportunity to acknowledge how we are feeling, without immediately minimising it or turning the conversation towards what we should be doing differently.

Sometimes, we need practical advice. At other times, we need someone to listen without rushing to solve the problem. The Mental Health Foundation (2026) highlights the value of active listening: giving someone our attention, listening without judgement and asking how we can help rather than assuming we already know.

We can offer this to one another. We can check in with a colleague and genuinely wait for the answer. We can ask a partner or friend, “Would you like me to listen, or would it help to think through some solutions together?” We can also allow ourselves to say, “I'm finding things difficult at the moment, and I could use some support.”

Seeking support is not a sign that we are incapable. It is a way of acknowledging our needs and responding to them constructively.

What our children learn when we look after ourselves

Children learn about emotional wellbeing not only through what we tell them, but also through what they observe in our everyday responses. The American Psychological Association (APA, 2024) encourages parents and caregivers to model healthy coping and to talk with children about how they manage stressful situations.

When children see adults pause rather than react immediately, acknowledge a mistake, apologise when necessary or ask for help, they learn that emotions are manageable and that difficulties do not have to be faced alone.

Imagine a parent saying, “I've had a demanding day, so I need a few quiet minutes before we talk. Then I can give you my attention.” Or a teacher saying, “I was frustrated earlier, and I could have handled that conversation differently. Let me try again.”

These moments demonstrate self-awareness, responsibility and repair. They show children that being emotionally healthy does not mean feeling calm all the time; it means learning to recognise our feelings and respond to them in ways that support ourselves and others.

This is particularly important when children are distressed or dysregulated. An adult who can pause, maintain a steady tone and respond with curiosity is often better placed to understand what a child may be communicating through their behaviour. Peck's rapid-reset approach encourages adults to look beneath the behaviour rather than immediately treating it as something to correct (Peck, n.d.).

Of course, adults will not always get it right. We will have difficult days, lose patience and sometimes need to repair a moment that did not go as intended. What matters is not perfection, but our willingness to reflect, reconnect and try again.

Small changes, meaningful impact

Self-care is often presented as something that requires extra time, money or a complete change of routine. In reality, caring for our mental health can begin with small, realistic choices. These will not remove every pressure, and they are not a substitute for addressing excessive demands, but they can help us become more attentive to our needs.

Consider choosing just one or two of the following practices this week:

• Pause before the next demand. Take one minute to breathe, notice your body and decide how you want to approach what comes next.
• Protect a small pocket of personal time. Take a walk, read, listen to music, enjoy a quiet cup of tea or do something that allows you to step away from your responsibilities.
• Create a boundary that is realistic. Where possible, switch off work notifications, establish a stopping point for the evening or allow yourself to leave a non-urgent task until tomorrow.
• Talk to someone you trust. Share how you are genuinely feeling, rather than only reporting what you have managed to accomplish.
• Practise self-compassion. Ask yourself what you would say to a colleague, friend or parent who was experiencing the same difficulties. Try offering yourself that same understanding.
• Ask for practical help. Whether at home or at work, consider which responsibilities can be shared, prioritised or approached differently.
• Notice what helps. At the end of the day, reflect on one moment that helped you feel more settled, connected or supported.

If stress, anxiety, low mood or exhaustion persists or begins to interfere with everyday life, seeking professional support may be an important next step. Brief resets can be helpful, but they are not intended to replace appropriate mental health care.

Real change begins with listening - including to ourselves

This year's World Mental Health Day theme asks us to recognise the value of real experiences and to ensure that listening leads to meaningful change. In our school community, that message applies not only to the children we support, but also to the adults who help them learn, grow and feel safe.

We can encourage children to speak openly about their mental health while also acknowledging our own. We can teach emotional regulation while continuing to practise it ourselves. We can listen to others while making sure that we, too, have someone who will listen to us. And we can recognise that wellbeing is not solely an individual responsibility; it is something that families, colleagues, schools and wider support networks must work together to nurture.

So, before the next task, the next difficult conversation or the next moment when someone needs you, consider giving yourself permission to pause.

You do not have to wait until you are exhausted to deserve rest. You do not have to reach a breaking point to ask for help. And you do not have to be endlessly available to be a caring parent or a dedicated teacher.

Our children need adults who care for them. They also need adults who understand that they are human, too.

This World Mental Health Day, let us listen to the experiences of others, make room for our own, and turn that understanding into everyday action. Because when adults are supported, heard and given opportunities to restore their wellbeing, they are better placed to offer children the patience, connection and care that help them thrive.

Start with one pause. Make space for one honest conversation. Take one step towards the support you need. Small beginnings count.

References

American Psychological Association. (2024, October 22). How to help children and teens manage their stress. https://www.apa.org/topics/children/stress

Mental Health Foundation. (2026, October 1). How good listening skills can support someone’s mental health and wellbeing. https://www.mentalhealth.org.uk/explore-mental-health/blogs/how-good-listening-skills-can-support-someones-mental-health-and-wellbeing

Peck, C. (n.d.). Rapid resets: Leading with stability [PDF resource]. Thriving Educator. https://www.thrivingeducator.org/resources

World Health Organization. (2022). WHO guidelines on mental health at work. https://www.who.int/publications-detail-redirect/9789240053052

World Health Organization. (2026). World Mental Health Day 2026: Lived experiences heard: Real voices, real change. https://www.who.int/en/campaigns/world-mental-health-day/2026